Category: Movie Rants


Now lets get one thing straight Waterworld isn’t really bad. Especially compared to some of the terrible adventure films coming out recently. I really like Kevin Costner and I think he was really good in that movie. The bad guys were fun and so were the battle scenes. Sure the third act was pretty lame but that is a minor complaint. I have been waiting for Hollywood to take a swing at Waterworld. I mean they remade Red Dawn with North Korean invaders so why not remake Waterworld? Well Syfy is stepping up and is wanting to make a sequel to it. Now I’m all for this for comedy reasons alone. Syfy is known now for making terrible B horror and monster movies. So Waterworld 2: Revenge of the Smokers(yeah I made that up) would have a razor thin budget. If they bring back Kevin Costner I’m 100% in. I doubt he’ll do it though since he’s about to make a rip roaring come back in next summers Superman. So prepare for suckyness on the ocean coming to Syfy sometime in the future.

Now the reboot of Spider-man titled “Amazing Spider-man” was pretty terrible. They got a lot more wrong than right. Only the actors kept the thing afloat. Problem is they pitched the movie to the right group(teens) and the movie made some cash, far less than the previous three films before it but whatever. Rumors have been tossed around wildly about what the plot was going to be. Now if Foxx will play Electro that confuses things a little bit. I thought for sure the Green Goblin would be the villain but I guess not. Now they have kind of an open slate with this film, the reboot needed to start over again and essentially showed us stuff we’ve already seen, they just did it badly. They then ruined a famous villain in the Lizard. Thankfully Electro isn’t really a classic baddie, he can be changed and used in any way they like. Foxx is a great actor and him playing a villain sounds like a lot of fun, problem is he’s so likable, he’ll need to be extra bad for an audience to care more about the wise cracking Spider-man than him.

So even though most remakes these days bomb at the box office studio’s still believe they are worth the money over original concepts. Total Recall didn’t exactly rake in the big bucks if you know what I mean. Still studio’s just want to ignore this fact and remake every good film from the past possible. Videodrome if you don’t know if a film made by David Cronenberg is 1983. Not only does the title not really make sense anymore I’m not sure the story will stand out either. Can studio’s just take a chance and pick up some new scripts? Just try it, even cheap one’s because no one is really buying this 80’s remake thing they are pushing. If I were a gambling man I’d say the upcoming Robocop remake will tank at the box office too. I think mainly why would people want to go pay for updated PG-13 rated version of movies they already own at home?

Finding Nemo is hands down an animated classic and that’s why the news that Pixar is planning on a sequel is kind of sad. I’m not sure where the plot will come from. Maybe they will pull a Taken 2 and Nemo will have to find his father and Dory. It looks like everyone is coming back for this which is a good thing. For me though many of these movies are so good a sequel will ruin it. This goes for UP and WallE as well. They better make sure the script is solid because I’m sure the movie will make a billion dollars but the real problem is will it match up at all with the first one. I think it is almost impossible. Still if Nolan can do it with Batman and we have seen Pixar nail sequels before with Toy Story 2 and 3… Problem is we’ve also seen Pixar drop the ball before as well(I’m looking at you Cars 2).

It seems Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker are bored or poor again because they seem to be on board for a 4th round of the buddy cop/action series. It’s not clear if Brett Ratner would return to direct but I’m not exactly sure he should. The third film was terrible, it was too simple, it just seemed like an excuse for the crew and cast to party in France. I will give props to the first film, that movie had charm and the action flowed. Jackie’s fight in the pool hall is still one of the better/funny fight scenes we’ve seen in a while. The second film is very funny and an easy watch and again the movie had charm. None of that was the case with the third, so if they can bring back the magic they had in the first two films sure why not do it? Problem is I have a feeling this movie will come off being like Lethal Weapon 4, both men are much older now and probably can’t do the action scenes.

So if you don’t know already Peter Jackson is making a live action big screen adaptation of The Hobbit, it will be broken up into two parts. Now though comes word that a third film could be added. Now what will be in that film is unknown really. Is The Hobbit just so long they can break it into three movies? That doesn’t really seem possible. Rumor is the third film would simply bringing other stories from Tolkien together. This idea doesn’t bother me at all. I would love to see more of this world especially if Peter Jackson is bringing it to us. I’m looking forward to seeing how this turns out because will it just be called The Hobbit part 1, part 2, part 3? Or will they have a new title for this third film? Who knows really but count me in as excited.

Tatum’s career has been very interesting to follow, he came out in Step Up and then suddenly his career seemed to be heading straight into the ground. The first GI Joe was just a silly mess and he was stale as could be. The Eagle really made no waves when it came out. Then suddenly he popped up in Haywire and really impressed, then POW The Vow and 21 Jump Street came out and he won over almost everyone. Then he became women’s pick for the newest hottie, perfect since Magic Mike came out and now it’s a solid hit. Rumors of a sequel are now popping up and amazingly Tatum simply can just pick his projects. The second GI Joe movie was put on hiatus with the rumor being they simply wanted more Tatum.

There has been a lot of talk about Knievel film for a while, but nothing really could get off the ground. His story is perfect for a film, especially in 3D, with all the stunts one could see a movie will this being a decent hit. Now with Tatum having a lot of pull in Hollywood, he might just be the guy to get the story to the big screen. I don’t personally think he’s right for the role but I don’t matter, if he takes his shirt off once that will bring in at least a couple million ladies.

One of the last films I ever thought would get the remake call was Starship Troopers. The film was slightly based off of a book from Robert A. Heinlein. Frankly the book is a glossy World War 2 story with bugs. Full of patriotism and “don’t ask questions” when the government asks you to do something. Paul Verhoeven made a science fiction classic with Starship Troopers with its anti-facism message and its gory attitude towards battle.

So of course the studio plans to make a remake closer to the book and less violent. So to spell it out for you, the film will be rated PG-13 and you won’t have to think about it at all. The soldiers are the good guys, the fight for Earth/America and will kill lots of bugs. One major character will die, but it won’t be bloody, it will be meant to pull emotional strings…

HOLLYWOOD STOP DOING THIS! This remake is pointless and already sounds terrible. Verhoeven’s film isn’t perfect but it is different and tried to bring across a message. A straight up throw back war film with bugs isn’t necessary. Why not just make a HALO movie? That would have a simple plot around the same type of idea. It seems Hollywood is now determined to remake 80’s and now 90’s films and make them dull PG-13 rated fair. Just stop please.

Well it might actually happen. At first the concept of a new Bourne film without Matt Damon made me roll my eyes. I’ve come completely around on this one after seeing the trailers. The movie looks really good. Now as rumors are starting to come out that this film will open the door that Bourne wasn’t the only super bad ass on the block the idea that maybe Renner and Damon could team up in a future film seems very possible. I frankly think this is a great idea. Why Damon wanted to stop doing Bourne was because he wanted to try other things. Maybe in a year or so he’d be down to do another movie. I also really like the idea of them doing something like The Avengers where each hero has their own movie but then can come together for an all out action film. If the Bourne films could do this for the spy/action category I think it would be really something to see.

The war for cash in the box office always has winners and losers. The Avengers is an obvious winner as it just passed the $600 million mark domestically. Battleship did amazing business over seas but domestically the film frankly bombed domestically. The blame is now being pointed at the comic book action classic. I guess that makes sense. Battleship did some serious wave flagging and and throwing American patriotism in our faces, so in a way it’s really surprising that the film did so well over seas.

The fact is though that maybe why Battleship bombed was because it was just bad. The film was all over the place, it had its moments but in no way did it match up to The Avengers. So maybe people just weren’t interested in a movie based off a board game. I do like that people are trying to figure out why movies do badly compared to others. With ticket prices being so high people probably go to the movies less often. So competition has a lot to do with it. John Carter underperformed due to marketing while the film itself was very good. Battleship might have just missed the mark with Americans.